“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”
-E.A. Bucchianeri
We are never prepared to grieve. When we grieve, we are overwhelmed by advice from friends and family, brochures, and self-help books, all to guide us through what some call The Stages of Grief. Our experience over the last 100 years, is that grief isn't so much a state, as it is a part of life. When we experience loss, no matter how deep or devastating, we never get over it. It becomes a part of us, and we learn to live with it. Humans are resilient, and it is during our lowest times, we find the courage to be whole again.
Here at McDougald Funeral Home, we want to assist you in your healing journey as we share our experience with grief. We hope these next few paragraphs help you find the strength you need to carry on.
As you may have already experienced, grief can show up in many ways like anger, reclusion, extreme sadness, or withdrawal. This is all very normal and expected among people experiencing loss. There is no right or wrong way to walk through it, but there is a healthy approach to keep negative thoughts and shame from taking over your life. Seeking additional support from friends, family, or even a therapist is the first step in letting someone know how you’re feeling. We often hear, “It’s ok to not be ok, but it’s not ok to stay that way.” If you are able, take some time to evaluate your mental health. This may look like stepping back from work or school, delegating tasks around the house, or changing your workload. Communicating these needs is crucial at the start of your healing journey and allows you to make space to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling, without the added stress.
Apart from communication, is acceptance. A funny thing about grief is it can never be rushed. As much as you want to move forward, grief has its own agenda. Mourning a loved one is especially hard during holidays. You have one less gift to buy, an empty seat at the table, and reminders are all around. Your life has been forever changed. The more we understand that fact, the more we begin to accept this new way of life. Acceptance doesn’t mean you forget them; it means they are forever a part of you.
Lastly, find ways to express your grief in your own way. Taking up a new hobby or scheduling more time with friends and family is a great way to start. Start a book club with co-workers or go out to dinner a few times a month. The best way to lift your spirit is by getting out of the house, and into the world. The more you can surround yourself with a community of people that love and support you, the better. If you ever need someone to help you find a group to join or someone to talk to, call us, we will be glad to help.
McDougald Funeral Home cares for our community and the people we serve. We want you to know that our door is open twenty-four-seven for anything you need. We hope this blog encourages you or someone you know to start a healthy grieving process and remember how much we are all valued and cared for.
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